Self-Pity is one of the most destructive and yet most prevalent emotions that people struggle with.
In the bible Elijah had a bout of Self Pity and ultimately it was this that took him out of leadership. 1 Kings 19:14-16
Self-Pity is worship of yourself – it is a totally self-indulgent emotion, that fast becomes an addiction – Hi My name is “this or that” and I am a pity addict. People who have self-pity find that their thoughts and feelings are paralysed as they get caught in the “woe is me mentality”.
Here’s a list of the negative effects self-pity will have on you:
- Encourage you to evaluate yourself against others, as there will always be someone more attractive, wealthy, intelligent, and socially connected than you.
- You are deeply sorry for yourself and your circumstances.
- Self-pity breeds shame, guilt, and regret, which is why you will battle these emotions.
- Self-pity will lead you to believe that you are the centre of the universe, and that injustice exists in the world.
- It will try to make you distance yourself from your pals by telling you that happiness and self-pity are mutually exclusive. It is not possible to have self-pity and success, happiness, or good relationships at the same time.
- Self-pity will lead you down a path of destruction.
- Your acts become paralyzed by self-pity. Life’s onward motion and self-pitying cannot coexist.
- The devil uses self-pity to undermine the Kingdom of God’s efficacy.
- Self-pity is the adversary of choice, and when you do make a decision, it is weak.
- Self-pity makes you look unappealing.
- Self-Pity turns you into a complainer.
- Like quicksand, self-pity sinks you deeper the more you dwell in it.
- Self-pity is the act of hurting oneself because of guilt or humiliation (I’m so unattractive, dumb, etc.; I’ll never be…)
- Self-pity is an idiotic effort to elicit compassion from others in order to get emotional closeness. It will just make you hold onto your unforgiveness.
- Self-pity will deprive you of hope. It will cause you to view yourself less clearly from God’s perspective to the point where you will publicly mock the notion that God loves and values you.
- Being self-pitying will make you very conceited.
Self-pity is an all-consuming monster that, aside from itself, will ruin everything in your life.
SELF-PITY THRIVES ON THE CHAOS IT CREATES, GROWING MORE POWERFUL EACH TIME UNTIL IT IS THE ONLY THING REMAINING.
We need to perform a few actions in order to break free from self-pity:
1) Admit or confess your sin of self-pity. Admit to yourself that you may have misinterpreted God’s nature by questioning His benevolence and mercy (feelings of punishment), as well as His sovereignty (control over events). Admit your despair, disillusionment, anxiety, fury, etc.
2) Show forgiveness to those who have hurt you. Beg God to pardon you for misinterpreting His nature and for having doubts about Him. It’s possible that you have to pardon yourself for the transgression you are punishing yourself for. Recall that refusing to forgive yourself is equivalent to exalting oneself over God.
3) Give up the ability to hold grudges against people who have hurt you. Give up the privilege to wallow in your sorrow or self-pity (Rom 12:1-2)
4) Pray for the ability to hope and give thanks to God. It’s also critical to give God gratitude for the aspect of His nature that you misinterpreted. As an illustration, consider His holiness, kindness, intimacy-seeking nature, and love for us. Look for verses in the Bible that illustrate such quality in His interactions with others.
Psalm 42:5 (New King James Version)
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.[
In the story that Jesus narrated, the brother of the prodigal son was prone to self-pity. It’s a repulsive, destructive, and all-consuming feeling. Seek professional assistance if you suffer from self-pity. Speak with a dependable friend and see the pastor or a trusted counsellor. Keep it from festering and ruining your life.
