How can you Help your Teenager?

There is a level of fear and depression that can come over teenagers that may not make sense to those around them. But it is very real to them and often requires loving help to overcome. 

They can be mean, hard to get along with, and irrational. Some of this behaviour is normal. Their moods naturally and normally have highs and lows. They can be irrational, irritable, and disrespectful. The teenage brain does not reach full maturity until about age 25. But how do you know when “normal” teenage behavior has moved into something more serious? 

How do you know when your teen needs help? 

When it comes to your teen, it’s essential that you don’t brush off signs and symptoms of a troubled teen in need of help. If you’re concerned, it’s time to tune in and take steps to help your teen heal and get the help they need. 

Emotional problems, stress, relationship issues, mental health issues, or past trauma can all contribute to a teen in trouble. 

When evaluating your situation, you must look at all the pieces, not just one sign. 

Most parents of teenagers going through depression say the same thing—they didn’t see the warning signs that their teen needed help—they didn’t know what to look for in their teen’s behavior. Perhaps you’re also concerned you’re missing the signs with your teen. 

As a parent or a youth group leader or a pastor, how do you know if your teen is dealing with typical teenage moods or depression? 

Here are some of the symptoms of depression to look for: 

• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed  

• Depressed mood 

• Acting out or having meltdowns 

• Significant weight loss or gain

• Significant change in eating habits

• A drastic change in clothing styles 

• A major change in hygiene 

• Fatigue 

• Sleeping more or less than usual 

• Slowed thinking 

• Indecisiveness or difficulty concentrating 

• They stop looking you in the eye or engaging with the family 

• Thoughts of death or suicide 

• Signs of self-harm such as cuts, burns, bruises, etc. 

Remember, teen depression isn’t just something they need to get over. It can have severe consequences if left untreated. If your teen has been struggling with depression, there are things you can do as a parent. 

Also, be on the lookout of any of these symptoms too:

• Declining school performance – If there is no particular reason behind a significant drop in school performance of a child usually consistent in grades, it could be a sign of an underlying issue with your teen that needs addressing. It can be a symptom of a greater problem emotionally. 

• Changes in friends or no friends – Teens spend more and more time with their friends and are significantly influenced by their social circles. While making new friends is expected, abandoning old friends and hanging out with an entirely new group of people you do not know coupled with a change in behaviour and attitude is a sign that your teen may need help.

• Increasing rebellion – Teenagers are generally expected to be rebellious, which can lead to missing the signs of trouble or waiting too long to get help, hoping things will work out. Watch out if your teen’s behaviour is becoming more intense and on the verge of being dangerous.

• Excessive isolation – Teens tend to like time alone. But when isolation becomes excessive, this is a cause for concern. Isolation can lead to social media addiction, depression, disturbed sleep patterns, and changes in eating habits. If your teen refuses to spend time with the family or seems locked away in their room all the time, it’s time to get help. 

• Sleeping all the time – Teenagers need a lot of sleep! And they often stay up late, which causes them to sleep longer in the morning. But, sleeping all the time is a sign that your teen needs help. After you’ve ruled out any potential physical problems, excessive sleep (more than 10 hours, napping in the middle of the day etc) can be the symptom of a deeper issue, like depression.

• Changes in appetite – This can signal trouble if your teen seems to hardly be eating anything anymore. Depression, anger, and rebellion can all lead to changes in appetite. Overeating can also be a sign that your teen needs help. 

If you feel completely out of control, all is not lost. When teens act out, it’s a cry for help – a cry for hope. A parents’s love and care makes all the difference in the life of a teen. 

Here are some steps that can be taken:
1. Reach out to your Pastor or Youth Leader

2. Encourage your teen to talk to a coach, teacher, friend, family member or a trusted counsellor. They are often more comfortable talking to someone other than a parent at first.

3. Help them to get plugged in to a youth group, academic club or team.

4. Take drastic steps to improve quality family time and meaningful interaction with kids. Eating dinner together as a family can help keep your teen away from a lot of unhealthy patterns.

5. Contact a mental health professional for counselling if needed.